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Not interested. [With Talon's works-in-progress anyone. It was a means to an end and nothing more. Did what he needed to keep in their favor, stakes raised with how high he climbed, allowed him just enough freedom to work as he needed. Didn't train any of them either- well, he had trained the ones that came from Blackwatch.

Wasn't surprised when he saw so many familiar faces there, those from Overwatch as well.

It was better to have the time to work it out, get everything they could out all at once in anyway that was best. Hell, after they'd lost Ana before everything fell they'd both taken the time they could manage to mourn. Mourn before claws dug in to try and take everything apart, before they'd both had to focus and... pull apart.]

All you're going to hear is me feeling damn sorry for myself, Jack. [Something he'd kept buried for months, buried as deep as he could, but now there just... weren't so many projects to bury himself in. This one hit hard, one right after the other and it just.

He wanted to be numb, at least for a little while, before picking right back up. So he sunk in that couch and just drank slowly. Letting it be felt rather than downing the bottle quick.] Well, happy birthday again. This shit will do it.

Emotional bullshit liquor making, it's called a Gargleblaster and it's delicious.

[Sweet and fruity, thanks.]

[He shrugged his shoulders, letting the topic of conversation go without a fight. There was no real point discussing it, was there? They wouldn't remember it when they went back, assuming they all would. Gabriel's motivations were his own and like always, the older man seemed to take the path with the most danger but also the biggest payoffs. That's how Gabriel won the First Omnic Crisis.

It was interesting how the first time Ana had died, he had spent years blaming himself. He thought that he would revert back to that in finding out that she had gone back this time, but honestly, he mostly just felt numb. He couldn't tell what that actually said about him, but he supposed that his hair couldn't go any more white these days, so no point sitting on the grief.

Mourning was something he didn't do much anymore. He liked to think he didn't care enough to, but that was wrong. Maybe he just hadn't stopped in the last six years.]

That's fair. You've suffered your share of losses over the years. Now what? You live the dangerous game of whatever you're doing in Talon. For the last few years, you've been stuck in a place that you'll never remember when you go back, so what's the actual point of investing, right? [He had no doubt that Gabriel could flesh out the assessment for hours on end. Maybe there would even be a story or two about the other him that had been here for years.

Best he could do was poke Reyes to open up the flood gates before the man hit the drawling barely conscious stage of waxing and waning depressive slurred poetry. It probably wouldn't even rhyme.]

No point. I stopped celebrating birthdays years ago. [No point celebrating when alone. He took another sip from his drink, holding it on his tongue a little longer than the first time.] Maybe if we get drunk enough, we can wake up thinking we're home.

[Of course it was emotional bullshit liquor. Why was he not surprised at all?]

Fruity drinks were never my favourite. [He wasn't about to refuse free booze that would knock his socks off.]

Already been asking myself that ever since people started wanting me for have hope for anything. [Spoken with a snort. Really, people had wanted for him to have hope for all sorts of things- Couldn't even remember when he started wanting to hope anymore. That didn't even matter, nothing here did when it would simply be gone and forgotten whenever he returned home for good.

Yet here he damn well was. Nearly three years and- well. Not the only one here, but now the only one here from their world that had been in this place for so long. Why him of all people? What was the point of it all?

Reduce him to this goddamn mess?

Nearly scoffed—] My 60th only got celebrated because Shimada remembered while he was here and pulled Kevin in to help. I don't even remember the last time anyone, let alone me, bothered to before that.

[Why celebrate when you were dead to the world at large? Better off that way.

The fact he downed nearly half the bottle at that was likely not a goo sign. Grimacing more at the sudden burn of it all going down than anything else.] Why bother thinking we're home? You're somewhere in Cairo and I'm off in Venice months after that run in.

It's just as damn pointless as anything here.

[No really, he went over the pointlessness of everything mentally of a regular enough basis it's a surprise he was keeping it together as long as he had.]

They're my favorite.

[Jack couldn't help but snort softly, shaking his head a bit.] We had hope that things would get better in the war. We sacrificed for peace, to make the world a better place... and then look what happened. [He had given up on actual hope a long time ago. Revenge and the mission was all their was. He needed something to do or he'd go mad.

He looked over at Gabriel hunkered on the other side of the couch nursing on that fruity neon drink of his. He considered for a moment.] Didn't think either Shimada would care much for birthdays. Seemed too formal or morose most times I ever laid eyes on them.

[Exactly. No point celebrating when dead. Also no point celebrating when there was no one to celebrate with. It was just another day.

So much for taking his own advice and not chugging it, Gabe. He shook his head, but he made no correction. Reyes was an adult. He wasn't his boss anymore.] Months after, huh? Guess I never caught up with you in that time.

And yet you've set down roots here. Now you're suffering new losses.

[He sipped his drink, taking the moderation approach but mostly because he didn't actually believe he would be able to get wasted. It was strong, but his metabolism had never actually failed before. As he said, someone had to hold Gabe's hair out of his face if vomiting started... or the guy was reduced to muck on the floor that he had to usher into a bottle.]

People were afraid of the power Overwatch held, or were jealous of it, and so took everything out. That's fucking what. [There was a pause- before a couple of shadow hands rose up out of Gabriel's shadow and did a second raiding of the fridge. Pulled out about four containers of what was obviously food, pre-made and likely all from the fact he couldn't cook a single helping to save his life.

Reyes could only manage full meals for multiple people, but at least it was good. The hands returned with the containers and some forks. Grabbing up one as for the moment after that large drink he was going to be eating some cold- it looked like some sot of cheesy chicken pasta.]

Genji's lightened up a lot, that monk I mentioned before. He's a good kid, always had been even with all that hurt and anger in him. [Could fucking relate now.] He wanted me to celebrate my 60th, and so he and Kevin pulled together a Halloween themed birthday party for me. Actually invited other people who knew me here, too.

First time in years people wanted to celebrate the fact I exist. [Well, it was starting, but at least this time when he took a swig from his own bottle there'd be food with it.]

I don't even know when I did, kept telling myself it was pointless- but people kept... wanting me to have something.

[Jack was going to be in for a surprise, because the fact it cut through Gabriel's own metabolism on top of the wraith bullshit- well. He'd been feeling it a lot sooner than he expected.]

They felt like they lost control of Overwatch, and that we were slowly encroaching in areas where big names were going to lose money. The rich don't like losing money or influence. [He knew how that game worked better than most, growing up as he had on a farm in Indiana where the little guy was a pawn in the political game. It had become more apparent when he was dealing in political circles.

He paused from taking another sip at the weird shadow hands, watching them move off with interesting control and then bringing back food. He shrugged his shoulders, aware that would only slow the process of getting absolutely wasted. Still, he hadn't seen food like that since the last time he had spied on a restaurant.]

Yeah, so you said. Still have trouble imagining it; he was such a quiet and damaged kid when you were picking him up. [He nodded his head, glad to here that Reyes had managed some semblance of connection to people who really seemed to care about him. It seemed like such a rare thing these days. for people like them.] Must have been quite the ride having people celebrate you. Good party too?

[76 thought it was pointless, but he could see the draw. He shrugged a little, not expecting the same.] Good to have something, even if you taught me having something just means it can be taken away.

[He was sipping it like it was just a casual drinking party, like he always had. It warmed his belly, but otherwise, he was okay for the time being.]

They sure as fuck don't, and boy has Talon killed for it whenever someone's gotten overly greedy. [Had carried out a few of those himself- Akande likely had as well, judging by what had happened in Venice.

Gabriel tapped the lid of a box-] There's enough for you, if you don't want to drink on an empty stomach. Do you better in the long run. [-before returning to his bottle. If he was going to even near the possibility of hanging over a toilet, he at least wanted more than stomach acid to come up after a while. Terrible as that thought was.

He was a 'responsible' drink-to-numb-the-pain-er? Something.]

Was a good party, yeah. They'd gotten Ana's help, too.

[Good memories of that day, but it's all they were. Even then they only would last so long as he was in this place. Pointless again.] Sometimes you've also got to decide if having it is worth that risk. Taught you that, too.

[Was anything ever worth that risk?]

Sounds like a great place to spend your time. Least you're mucking out the stalls in that place for better or worse.

[He looked at the box of left-overs for a long moment and shrugged his shoulders. When was the last time he ate anything not cooked over a fire? Lately, not much. Before, only in hovels where only a cast-iron stomach likely allowed him to survive the experience without puking for the next thirty-six hours.

Slowly, he reached out to take the box that Gabriel indicated and a utensil and set both in his lap. His drink went between his knees as he opened the box to peer at the contents.] You made it seem like there wouldn't be a long run here. [He took a taste first, but who was he to complain about free food that fed directly into not only his metabolism but was probably some of the first emotional-enriched food he had eaten that wasn't made by him.] It's good. You made it?

[He nodded his head and picked through the food in front of him, putting some on his stomach so he doesn't just get too wasted and be useless to Reyes in this. He's supposed to be the less sad one, which... he actually isn't. Losing Ana was devastating, but he won't process it for a time.]

Something you'll remember, no doubt. Guess we only really have memories at this point.

[76 snorted softly, shaking his head. He hadn't had anything 'worthwhile' in years, and he'd tried to stop himself from caring about it for awhile now.] Look how well it got us too, hmm?

When I'm not off on more important jobs.

[As for the food? It looked like something with steak, sliced up and seared so very nicely. Even if cold it would still feel like it was warming the man up as he ate. There were vegetables in there as well. Some possibly roasted potatoes. Whatever it was it was delicious, give him that much.] I'm responsible, even if I plan on getting drunk enough to black out.

Better not done on an empty stomach. [Still, there was a nod to the question. He'd made it. His food was always comforting in the emotional side of things. Warmed someone up from the inside out in the most pleasant of ways.] Yeah, got in a lot of practice here.

[Hell, part of the reason he invited Jack over was to let him have the time. He didn't doubt it had been like a gut punch, but let him process it in his own time.]

And even then they're temporary for this place. Go right back like nothing ever happened.

[Yet here he was all the damn same. Taking another drink from the bottle with the neon purple mix-] I don't regret anything about what we did back then.

All the more reason I'm doing what I'm doing.

[It was homemade food and that put it leaps and bounds ahead of most of the stuff that he ate in the last six years. Even cold, he had no problem with it, and it was hardy and tasty, so he wouldn't deny enjoying it. Made him wonder when the last time he had cooked. Made him wonder if he even could anymore.] Fair enough. I'm not your boss. You do whatever you want.

[It had been awhile since he had regretted his life, but now didn't seem like it was worth a new try at it. If this alcohol was as good as Reyes indicated, he was going to need to be cautious. He was here because his presence was requested, not so he could just give into that gaping despair that they could so easily stand on the edge of.] At least you're taking up old hobbies, I guess.

[It wasn't like Reyes slept apparently. That was a lot of time to think of losses. No wonder Gabriel wanted to get black-out drunk and forget for a few hours. Blessed peace and quiet from the brain weasels.]

So does that mean you're supposed to enjoy it while you can, or just refuse to do anything because it doesn't matter anyway?

[He grunted and sipped from his bottle once he had finished chewing the food in his mouth. The fruitiness didn't exactly mix well with the savoury food, but he had no complaints about free stuff.]

No regrets, huh? That's a good thought, I guess. We did a lot back then. [A pause as he rubbed his thumb on the bottle absently.] Remember when we were arguing over that Prague strategy and Ana grabbed us both by the ears and dragged us around the whole room calling us stubborn idiots?

[Reyes had just gotten better at cooking, even if it still ad to be in large enough batches to feed a large family or else it was horrible. Just showed in what he was offering Jack, cold or not. It was almost funny.] Get back in to gear tomorrow, got to clean out the rest of that base and... I'll figure out what to do with it.

[Hell, he did appreciate the fact Jack had shown up at all, needed him there even if he couldn't really explain to himself why. To make sure he wasn't alone? That was one, on top of the fact he knew and cared about Ana, would under stand without having to talk about it. Talking about it was the last thing he wanted to do.] Gotta fill the time somehow.

[For once it was just too much to stay conscious with- or maybe he was finally allowing himself a break from his own thoughts. Long overdue.]

Either or, I guess. Mix of folks across the board a range of those two here after all.

[Alternating, slowly, between eating and drinking- even if he finally finished off one bottle and was picking up a neon green one to pop open next.]

She got tired of us arguing back and fourth when we were literally saying the same thing at one point, jut worded differently because of how stressed we both were.

[Jack had mastered the art of enjoying the leftover. He cooked for himself now more than ever, but much of his food stores were things he could keep in a pack and carry with him. He hadn't actually had access to a full kitchen in a very long time. Cooking conventionally just wasn't in the cards for his lifestyle. He wouldn't deny good leftovers.] With the base? Probably give it away or sell it. You seem like you have enough on your plate already with all you've taken on.

[Gabriel had called, and Jack had come. He couldn't explain why he had dropped everything and made its way here, but it felt like a blast from the past. Maybe they were back to finding that common ground with each other. They seemed to be trying to do that more than ever.

He shrugged as he finished his drink and set the empty bottle aside. He grabbed a neon blue one this time, about to find out if the flavours were different with colours.] And what side of the fence do you sit on in the debate?

[He was still eating but slowly, savouring the fact he had a meal and was apparently going to be spending the night here. Unlike all the other times he ate, he actually took his time rather than scarf it down and flee.]

We couldn't see the trees in the forest, as the saying goes. Always could get us to listen to reason.

There are still things there from when Oxton and the monkey were here. [Moved from the apartment they'd had yes but- That was a lot of time, wasn't it? Things from a little while before he'd arrived and now he was basically the last of those who'd been here so long. It felt- well. all the more reason to remind himself it wasn't just him, right?

Two years ago he wouldn't have given a single fuck and left it all there to rot away. Now it just didn't sit right with him.

There were indeed different flavors, but they all ranged within sweet. Made it dangerously easy to drink a lot fast if one didn't know just how alcoholic it was.] It doesn't matter in the end, so why not enjoy yourself while it lasts if that's what you want? Some people here are dead in their world. Got nothing to return to.

[A smaller swig of his second bottle then. Leaning heavier on his drinking than eating, but still.]

We could after a while on our own, given time, we just didn't have that time.

Oh right, where they tried to re-establish something of Overwatch. [Damn enthusiastic kids striving for the life that had been given to them when Overwatch was in its glory days. What young person wouldn't want to return to the best times of their lives? He definitely took a swig of alcohol just thinking about it.

He was definitely in the 'let it rot' stage of his life, but he would help Gabe because it was Ana. She wouldn't want him to leave Reyes alone for such a task. Maybe they were just better off suffering together.

He nodded, figuring that would be Reyes' answer after so long in this place. What choice did the man have after all? It was such a long time.] Knew you'd say that. Been here long enough to have invested something of yourself into the memories that you've made. God knows they are probably more pleasant than back home.

[He nodded, still alternating between eating and drinking. Someone was going to have to drag a passed out Reyes to the basement after all, and he had already volunteered by just being here.]

Yeah, I remember. Glad we figured it out and it all came out in the wash anyway.

It all used to be in an apartment, but Amari figured it'd be better to keep it in the base, since... probably want them to move in there if they ever showed back up. [Oxton had for a short period of time, but hell if he didn't avoid her. Too much energy for him to deal with when for the most part he... didn't much care for anyone.

Took several stabs at his pasta dish, but at least he was remembering there was food in his lap rather than just downing that second bottle. Working at it a little slower, some pleasant warm buzz already developing even with the food.

Step one getting there.] Not all of the memories back home are bad. Got some good ones.

[Even if the ones of the last several years wouldn't count amongst those.]

Always worked better together than against each other anyway.

And it doesn't sound like they ever did. A shame, I guess. I suspect I'd get tired just watching the pair of them flit around. [It seemed to him that he and Reyes were the only ones left, not exactly a good showing for this place. Neither of them probably even wanted to be here, probably wanted to be here less than anyone else of their world.

His stomach was warm and the warmth was spreading slow and easy to his limbs. He was a lot better at eating because he hadn't actually consumed a lot of food since he had arrived, just what he could catch and harvest. This was hardier and more filling than his previous meals, so he was going to at least enjoy it.

And yeah, the alcohol was nice enough.] Probably just the last decade was bad. Unless you have some real zingers with Talon agents.

[That was the strange truth of it. They had always worked better together than against each other. That's where most of their success had come from.]

Yeah, we did. Good team we had been.

Oxton popped back up for a couple of weeks, but she never remembered being here with Winston. Avoided her myself, don't think she ever noticed I was here. [He was good at it when he wanted to be, going unnoticed-] Wilhelm was here for a little while, too. Seen a lot of familiar faces but.... [He was the only constant now, technically, wasn't he?

Was more playing with his pasta than eating it for a moment, getting a good amount of it and sliced pieces of chicken on to that fork. A few veggies stuck to it by cold cheesy sauce.]

Other than going to Venice around Carnivale and dressing up? Not really. [He still enjoyed dressing up in costumes, some things didn't ever change.

Did finally eat that forkful of food, washing it down with a bit of that neon liquor.]

I miss it.

So like how I seemed to show up. [No memories of being here before. He hadn't thought that Oxton and Reaper would get on well, too many years of experience spanning between them to make a real connection. Her positivity could be a bit much for many.] But they are all gone now. All but three of us.

[He was sitting back into the couch, nursing his brightly coloured drink and letting the warmth of it spread through his body without complaint. He shouldn't do this, he knew, but he was going to. This kind of vulnerability was dangerous.

However, between himself and Reyes even black out drunk, one of them would kill anything that came to harm them. It was just a fact of life for them. A constant neither of them could truly escape.]

Dressing up is right up your alley. I don't think that will ever change.

[He glanced over at Reyes next to him on the couch and took a long drag from his bottle, mulling over the sentiment before nodding.]

Me too. Miss a lot of things, but mostly that.

Yeah, and McCree's been here three times now, each with no memory. [It was a common enough occurrence really. Didn't make it better, just... expected if someone left and then reappeared enough, bit chance it was for the first time for them all over again. Just how it was. Humming a little to that last statement. Just three of them now.

Gabriel felt safe enough, and knew that the dogs were a good early warning system that would snap anyone out of some drunken stupor if anyone did dare try to get in. Two of them trained well enough that it wasn't just Morrison or Reyes whoever would have to worry about.

They were... fine.]

Nice to be able to keep that much at least.

[That much of himself anyway. No matter how much else he let go of or tried to bury. Eating a little more than drinking for the moment again.]

Always knew I was safe with you at my back.

This place is such a menace. Giving and taking away like it has the right to disrupt everyone's life all for some rescue project. [He was just being bitter, enhanced by he alcohol that he was drinking since it was overcoming his metabolism. He mostly just wanted to be back on his mission... though, he'd miss this wouldn't he?

He cast a look at Reyes next to him on the couch, food containers in their laps and alcohol in hand, like they were a pair of university dorm roommates just getting on for the weekend. Yes, the weight of Ana's leaving was like an open wound for them both, but this sort of easiness wasn't possible back home. This relying on each other wasn't in the cards. They lived in two completely different worlds.]

What have you lost? After the Fall, I mean.

[Aside from 'everything', which was his typical response. If dressing up was a point of pride, what other points of pride had been sacrificed in the fall of Overwatch. How many of those things he and Reyes had once talked about, maybe even joked over were gone now.]

Except that one time. [He took a swig from his drink.] You were taking a piss into that river near my house, and I shoved you in. I think I made it two miles before you caught me and threw us both in.

A second chance or Hell, rate from your own experience. [A little dryly spoken, but it was how he viewed the place; could even be both at the same time. Needed to go back, return to his own mission, but hell.

So much more was possible here, even if loss had a whole new level to it.]

Other than my best friend? [Why yes, he counted Jack amongst those losses.] No big trip back home. No home at all for that matter, nothing to return to. Feeling of safety. List could go on.

[He'd made his choices, going to take another drink and eyeing Jack over that bottle at that little memory-]

Got you back. Remember the blizzard?

Hate it, ten-out-of-ten wouldn't recommend to anyone. [He replied just as dryly, though it wasn't entirely the truth. He wouldn't as easily give up on moments like these, sparse though they were. Jack simply saw it wasn't worth attachment. Just look at them now? Drinking towards black-out because of losing someone very special to them both.

He paused in taking another sip of his drink at the question, looking over and then away. He dropped the bottle back to his lap and sighed heavily, staring towards the ceiling.] Sounds like a bunch of losses. Amazing you've even gathered any sanity left.

[He snorted softly at the mention of the blizzard. How could he forget?]

Never thought my ass could ever be that cold.

[There was some scoff of a laugh in reply to that one, taking another drink before letting the bottle set on the coffee table. All the better to eat slowly, pacing himself more with the food than the rate he was drinking. Be better that way.

Easier to sort of linger in that warmth that pooled through him from the drink, settle in the softness brought with that. Temper didn't flare when he drank, he just got either sentimental and sappy or.. mellow. Easier to laugh and joke.] Making a joke of myself helps.

Either embrace the fact I'm an undead monster with nothing other than revenge and the mission, or go insane and scream.

[Hell of a time—]

Lucky I was nice enough and didn't shove you over where the lake was frozen over, just partially buried you in five feet of snow with a well timed shove.

[It had been so long and he had changed so much since the last time he had ventured into that territory that he had no idea what to expect. Apparently he was going to head in the sarcasm direction and hopefully it would hold for the night.

He was still nursing his drink rather than going all in, but he was pleased enough to earn a laugh out of Reyes. That wasn't easy when both of them were in some state of suffering, and he thought that Gabriel would handle this a bit harder than he would given he hadn't established the same kind of deep connections yet.]

It seems to me that back home, you have your cake and ate it too. Here... seems like you're just a grandpa with a farm and that thirty-year-old kid that won't move out of your attic.

[Sounds exactly like it was.]

Yeah, that was your showing of niceties. That whole scenario and the walk back made me wonder if I could suffer from hypothermia.

Edited (wtf) 2019-08-30 22:38 (UTC)

[Just what he did, try to find some way to cover the pain and bury it, be it through just ignoring it or finding some morbid sort of humor in it all. How he coped, even if it wasn't the healthiest thing to do, it got him by. Most of the time.

This was a time he didn't want to be alone, rather than holing himself up. Had only done this once before.]

What doesn't kill you, and the grave can't hold me. [Slow swig of that neon liquor-] And another kid that likes dropping by in the middle of the night to raid the kitchen of sweets.

[Didn't mind that one, really.]

Helped pull you out- and made sure you got warmed back up safely, but it was still funny seeing you disappear in all of that snow.

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