The only way you leave Talon is in a coffin. [Some more forcibly with some internal skirmishes for power, and others just outright being greedy. Some genuinely finally seeing Talon for what it really was, but in too deep. Too late.
He flexed the fingers of the hand not holding the bottle-]
Gotten numb to it, just background noise. Makes it difficult to notice injuries unless they're really bad. [Like trying to move with a few broken ribs.] Real noticeable whenever I pull certain tricks of mine, too.
What a sad way to live and die. [He shook his head, and he finally took a sip from his bottle. It was amazing that Talon attracted any talent with such strict ideals where people couldn't grow so much as served until they were either too power hungry or no longer useful.
He swirled his bottle absently, tipping his head to look in Gabe's direction.] Always knew it bothered you, but never realized it was quite that bad. [Not sure how something that painful could be nothing more than background noise.]
Talon got good at portraying themselves as a group that wants to help the beaten down, give power to the weak- to help. [He knew damn well just how Talon worked, intimately these days.] They took advantage of people who lost everything to the Crisis, people Overwatch was too slow to get to.
There are those that genuinely think they're good.
[Others that had no where else to go, those that didn't care they were hurting people, just wanting the power, the thrill- everything that came with it.
His head tilted, glancing Jack over.] Not like I'd ever say shit otherwise.
You're not the only one that knows Talons tactics. We've had multiple meetings about it, and you and I both know there was no way to get to some of those people. We didn't have the resources. [He sighed and hung his head, taking another sip from his bottle. No matter how hard Overwatch had tried, it would always be seen by some as failing them.
He knew very well the type of people that Talon went after, some of whom Overwatch wouldn't have touched. Too dangerous, too reckless.]
I know. [And he did.] You always suffer in silence. Always have.
I know it by heart now, and have seen it more than enough times personally. [Wasn't just that they didn't have the resources. Didn't have the manpower.
Sure, Blackwatch pulled in some of the people Talon would have, but once shit went to hell they ended up there in the end anyway.
He had tried.]
Why drag other people in to my shit? [Unless he was drowning to the point he couldn't see a way out, and by then he felt it was too late. Who'd come?
Jack, apparently.] I'm not the only one suffering.
No one should have to deal with my shit on top of their own.
I've seen it enough time to know it just as well. Talon needs to be taken drop from the top, but it's going to take time, especially with how secretive they all are with who exists where and handling what. [Talon had been able to maximize compartmentalization, and even he had to be impressed by it.
He sipped from his bottle, setting his teeth to the rim as he cast his eyes towards Reyes. They were going to have one of those serious conversations that would go no where by morning, weren't they? The conversations that made little difference because they were so set in their ways by now.]
Because some people care about you, and they want to help you with said shit if they can.
[He waved a hand in the air dismissively.] And you always do that tactic too. The moment we talk about the depth of how much shit you're dealing with and suffering under the weight of, you drag other people in as if they suffering can match yours.
[He turned on the couch to look at Gabriel and glared.] Stop being dismissive. If I couldn't handle your shit on top of my own, I wouldn't ask. I can handle it. Maybe not back when it was really needed, but here and now... I can. You can talk to me, Gabriel.
There are people in certain areas even I don't have yet. Part of why I needed that list of names still in the computer. [Why he had dropped in on Winston, and hell if the Recall didn't make some known when they wanted to sell the information to Talon.
For once? There'd be no argumentative tone from Gabriel on the subject, just something low and so close to melancholic than anything else. No mood to argue, and the way the alcohol was going through him couldn't get up the type of energy for it either.
Eyes kept on his own bottle.]
Always had to bury my own shit to deal with something else, no time for it. Something else to be done, something more important than wallowing in my suffering.
[Unlike here.
Gaze lifted from his bottle to Jack, and he just looked... tired. Haggard. Dark circles obvious under his eyes, gaunt even.]
This doesn't surprise me at all. Compartmentalization is the Talon way, and they have somehow mastered it. Annoying when hunting them. [He wouldn't stoop to making a go at Overwatch agents without cause, many of whom were innocent and probably wouldn't appreciate the heart-attack of either of them crashing through their doors.
The lack of argument was basically a giant alarm bell for him, and he turned a bit on the couch so he was half-facing Gabriel. He was so used to things being brushed off and the stubbornness involved in that determined how bad it was. No argument? It was bad.
He knew the old rules of engagements. Both of them had been awful about sharing their shit at the end.
All the same, he met Gabe's gaze and frowned at the exhaustion he saw there. Not just physical, but... everything. Emotional and mental. It forced him to take a sip from his bottle to gather himself, and he made a purposeful effort to shift closer to Reyes on the couch.]
Talk to me, Gabe. [It was a request, not a demand. Leaving the door open, making himself available as he hadn't in years.]
With numerous shell companies and other tricks to hide behind. Almost better when all they wanted was money and power. [Obvious what they were gearing towards now, front row seat. Unfortunately Reyes didn't hold the same beliefs- the more actual Overwatch agents that saw him as the enemy? Likely the better.
Who knows, could save them.
Funny, he could take what he was doing. Didn't matter how far down he dug himself, there was at least a goal, some sort of distance between what he was doing and everything else. Acceptance and drive to keep going. A need for it.
Here he was basically being slingshotted back and fourth so out of his comfort zone and what had become normal that he barely knew what to do anymore. It was pathetic, but he was just so damn tired. Some hollow laugh, brief as the noise was.]
It was easier when I just growled and grunted at people until they left me alone. [Spent a few months like that, honestly.] Killed things for money, never stopped moving, kept as far from people as possible unless it was needed for some job or trip.
The old guard has changed and that means that the role that group will play also will change. You're going to be part of that change, whether you like it or not, even if you undermine their activities in your own way. [Reaper left such a strong impression, and Reyes was a brilliant tactician and had years of experience to tap into. Talon would go far even if it fell in the end.
He imagined that there was plenty that Reyes didn't tell anyone, kept to himself. He suspected it was only because it was Ana leaving that he had been called. They had suffered her loss together before, and they were doing it again now. It was as familiar as it was painful, even if the circumstances were all different and they weren't particularly the same men they had been the first time.
The laugh was a good tell where Gabriel was at in his mind.]
I know. We both know building connections is bad but necessary. They just cause pain and loss. [It was the military life. It was Overwatch life. It was life after Overwatch too. He supposed he was fortunate that he hadn't developed strong bonds to anyone.] It's an easier life, isn't it? Distant from everyone, but terribly isolating.
I'm on the council. [He'd done the work to get there-] Vialli is dead and Ogundimu is back in his seat taking charge, the reason for the entire shift. It's already causing discontent amongst a number of Talon members at least. [That was what he'd counted on. Such an abrupt shift in power and direction that there'd be enough cracks made to slip through.
They were all supposedly on equal footing in terms of power, but it wasn't unusual for infighting to occur if a decision wasn't agreed upon, even after the motions to go through with it were already in motion. People happily going ahead with their own plan.
Hell, then and there no one would understand better than Jack; the weight of that certain loss and- well. Reyes himself. Taking another swig from the bottle before he even dared start talking again, the liquor enough to at least get him talking.]
I was already isolating myself. [Before Overwatch fell, gesturing with the bottle as the neon purple liquid inside sloshed a bit.] Here? Here people kept wanting in, didn't want me to be alone. Wanted me to have hope when I already knew it was a waste on me.
That's because some members of Talon can only worry about their profit margin rather than furthering anything else. They have a strangle-hold on where money flows, and I doubt a shift in mission statement will make the comfortable. I doubt they are part of Talon to lose money and power. [He knew that the shift would create rifts, and he was also hoping to capitalize, though he would definitely be less effective than Gabe at it.
His plan was to start hitting the companies themselves, since he had no access to Talon heads as it was. His more home-grown effort was about evening the odds for the common person, giving them opportunities where they were kept in oppression. More than that, he just plain wanted those that had betrayed and tore Overwatch to pay dearly and if he could throw them in the mud like they did so many 'lesser' people and omnics, then all the better.
But really, this conversation was less about what they were doing back home and Talon, and it was far more about Gabriel and the fact that the older man seemed to be barely be holding it together.
He made no indication to interrupt once Reyes decided to start talking, nursing a little more off of his drink. He was nodding his head to indicate he understood, and he eyed Gabe from the corner of his eye.]
And it seems to me they succeeded in making you have some hope. And a life for yourself.
I'm counting on it. [Already down a member of the council, and hell if the others in it just for the profit wouldn't be shaken up from that. Try to take every little scrap they could before trying to pull out. Take themselves out so Reaper didn't have to worry too much about those and go for bigger fish.
There was already someone beginning to short-change Talon after all.
Barely holding it together perhaps something of an understatement. Hell, the only reason he wasn't physically falling apart was due to how stuffed he kept himself with emotionally charged foods and other methods to keep that fed. Otherwise? Otherwise he'd be little more than some monstrous blob of smoke with how he felt.
Another pull from the bottle—]
And look what I've gotten for it. Gotten soft, emotional. Better off keeping a distance than having any hope.
[Now that he had actually talked with Reyes rather than just screaming at the man and trying to kill each other, he could figure that Gabe was waiting in the wings for the internal war of Talon to commence to stay to work things over. He had no idea how it would turn out or if Reyes would survive it.
He also wasn't so certain how he felt about that war. On one hand, good riddance. On the other, he wasn't keen to know the answer to Reyes' fate at the end. That left him staring down his bottle uncomfortably.
That pollen experience had really messed things up. He hadn't expected them to be able to have moments like these, and he wasn't certain how to cope with the idea that they had confessed all their boyish stupidity of years past to each other. It made this possible, made how comfortable they could be again available.
Turned as he was towards Reyes, he picked out the subtle signs of those old struggles.]
True... you told me you loved me. That's pretty damn soft. [He took a drag from his own fruity drink.] And we're talking again. And you have a son again. I guess it's completely terrible. [Though the losses definitely were. Maybe a small amount of that old optimism was sneaking back in. He didn't realize he could still have it.]
Told me the same, can't forget that. You got some softness left.
[He didn't even know his own fate, part of him didn't care so long as the mission got done. An end to Overwatch's sad story. Had to take down a lot of players on the way down. If he was one of those, so be it.
Right now? He wasn't much thinking about that, head tilted back to rest against the back of the couch.]
Did I tell you I met him in the local yarn store? And after that he pulled me in to his home during a party he was throwing. I was just walking by, stopped because I heard all of the noise. [Sounded like he'd gotten adopted first in a way, didn't it.] He's the only one left.
I did. Interesting how the only way our softness can only have its day when we're under the influence of pollen. Otherwise, it's all crust.
[Jack was of the same opinion. As long as those who brought Overwatch low and rotted it out from under them paid, he didn't care what happened to him. Even if that mission was all finished and he lived to see the other side of it, there would always be another war. That never changed.
He grunted softly to make it clear he was still listening, sipping lightly at his bottle.]
No, you never said how you met, just that he adopted you first. [And the circumstance were odd, but they weren't as odd as he might otherwise expect knowing this place. He glanced over at the final statement, humming.] What will you do on the chance he might leave too?
This place likes to play with emotions, told you when you first got here. [Speaking in to his bottle now, some sip-] Shit here influences you enough to bring buried shit right back up to the surface, or even fuck with your head.
Get you stuck in old memories of better times, or nightmares.
[That bottle was almost empty, and he was already grabbing a fourth -fifth? didn't matter- to just have well within reach once the one he had was emptied. There were many reasons he didn't sleep, so many- and maybe blacking out from over drinking was the only way he'd get any rest now.
All the more reason I don't want to be here. I finally have my emotions settled into a place where I can either ignore them or use them to my own benefit. [While there was literally no point complaining about it, he was going to anyway. This was their manly bitch session.] Let's hope we don't have a repeat performance then? Might make things overly complicated and you're dealing with enough shit as it is.
[He was still nursing his way through his second, though he was getting to the end of it. He wasn't in any hurry as they had all night, and he was here as moral support so that Gabe could just vent and release his tension and grief.]
This place trapped me in hope once. [He'd hidden away after the whole ordeal, because he could remember every second of it. The people who tried to pull him back out once they'd found themselves in the illusion of a world that tomb had made for him.
Felt like a tomb once he was out of it and back to his right mind at least. Created a world where things were better. Golden Years, like nothing had ever happened. Did he really miss those times so much he was so easily trapped in it? Or was all of that because of what this world had turned him in to. Away from his mission.
Away from the reality of what he was and what he needed to do.]
More of a choice back then. There's nothing to do here, no way to actively get out. Everyone is jut guessing while others are happy to be here, the chance it's given them t live a life not possible for one reason or another. [So many had wanted that for him here.] Think I've only ever felt this powerless twice before.
[What a sad statement that was. He had no idea what that meant aside from literal, though he could picture this place coming up with some head games to make waking from whatever illusions it created.] I bet it was awful.
[76 couldn't say that he had had hope in a long time, but he could faintly remember what it was like. It had been early in Overwatch when they could still make a different, when there was room to grow and be optimistic for improving the lives of others. He had had a lot of pride then, plenty of hope, an insatiable optimism. The world powers had done well though, grinding him for years, wearing him down as the war never had.
Slowly pulling them apart.
He grunted at Gabe's sordid assessment of the situation. He never liked being a sitting duck in anything.] Instead this place steals people when they are settled. Feels like a war with no fighting. [And that made it infinitely more hopeless.] Did you drink yourself unconscious for those times as well?
[There was hat hollow laugh, rasp enough that it sounded like it physically hurt to produce.] Overwatch never fell, Blackwatch still running.
We had manage to pull things together, prevented the Swiss explosion because something managed to distract us from that stupid fight. [Was it telling of something that he'd been so easily trapped in that?] The countries that still held their belief in us actually helped kept the Petras Act from ever falling on our heads. Talon didn't hold nearly as much power as it does- Hell, managed to find Ana some years after, even if she didn't come back to her position.
I was trapped in a What If filled with Hope. [His tone was rasped, hissing a little as if caught somewhere between disgust over being so easily trapped and... well. e ignored the pain it all brought in to his tone easily enough. Drowning it in finishing off the bottle and flicking the lid off the other.]
There's a war, these idiots voted not to kill the leader who assassinated one of the damn giant emotionally unstable animals. [Even if the dragon had been reborn, that wasn't the point.] Now you know those left went underground and are just biding their damn time, because those no better than children believe good and friendship fixes every-fucking-thing. [Well then.
Eyed Jack over the bottle for a moment.] I hired O'Deorain for one. [Discovered he was more or less dying.]
For the other I pulled myself together after having a goddamn building collapse on me and set on my mission. [Y e a h.]
[Soldier: 76 paused mid-sip from his beverage as Reyes went into the illusion of hope, slowly lowering the bottle to his thigh so as not to drop or throw it. He listened, painfully, but he listened, letting Reyes get it out because that was entirely necessary and why he stayed.
The what ifs, huh? Described like that, it sounded worse than he had considered, which meant that actually living it had been a version of Hell that would drive them both into hiding. He had no doubt Gabe had fled and required considered time to process it.]
Surprised you came out of that with your marbles still rolling in a forward direction. We both know hope has a place, but not like that... not like a game.
[It actually disgusted him that this place would create such illusions, the kind of escapism that threw reality far more harshly back into focus once it was finished. All the more reason to get out of this place before everyone was thrown back under the emotional bus.]
If there is no voted leadership with strategy, it's their own fault and they will pay for that decision. The only way to stop the inevitable slaughter now is the kill the underground movement before it gains traction, and that's political suicide. [He was in agreement of the stupidity of it though.
He eyed Gabriel in return at the mention of O'Deorain.] You could have just said 'no' and that would have sufficed.
[He'd hid himself away the moment they'd gotten back up to Verens, stuck there in that place until they were allowed to return, surrounded by everyone else who had gone down as well. Others caught in Hopes, while others in Despair- hell, he'd have preferred despair over what he'd gotten. That was something he was far more familiar in dealing with.
Not hope for something that would never be possible, something so long gone it was nothing but a gilded lie.]
Places hold traps like that, meant to protect things. Got out of it, and what we're were all down there looking for was recovered. You're not wrong though, not wrong at all, we both know it well.
[Illusions that felt so real it could trap someone like that, no matter who they were.]
The vote was left up to Otherworlders. The leadership of this place and where the leader of the movement was from left it up to us, and the other Arehtei weren't happy about it. [He agreed it was political suicide all the same.
Shoulders shrugged.] Devil's in the details.
Besides, other moments you shared in. [During the Crisis... when there was so much death of their people in Overwatch. How many times did he go and help Jack lay flags over coffins? Vice versa, too.]
[So that was just more reason to never fully explore places until after other people had gone down like a bunch of suckers to see what kind of emotional toll would be asked of them. It wasn't that he was a coward of adversity, but he had put many of his old memories and ghosts to rest, and he wasn't looking to rehash any of it.
Though, he supposed the more time that he spent with Reyes, the more likely some of those old ghosts might show up on scene again.]
That pollen we were exposed to was enough to show me how this place was going to play with us. I'm not particularly looking for any repeat performances.
[It was Jack's turn to roll his eyes because that was absolutely stupid. Why leave the vote up to a group that had no invested interests in the overall outcome? They all would leave at some point.]
Whoever made the decision to leave it to the otherworlders should be taken to task. We aren't in a position to make the correct informed decision. That's why politicians exist. [He was shaking his head and finishing off his second bottle, putting it aside for a third.
He grunted softly as he removed the cap from his new bottle.] I more meant here, not back home. I know very well how much we helped each other.
The pollen at least used what was actually there rather than creating something fake.
[Well that was telling again, but Gabriel didn't linger on what those words meant, what he'd said in them. Wasn't the point of it all, wasn't the worst this place could do. The pollen was mild- hell, even if it had been other people it could have implanted fake emotions.
But with him they'd been very real, no matter how deep he'd buried them over the years out of necessity.]
It was left up to Otherworlders because Otherworlders were who fought and caught her in the first place. Who went and raided the place they had holed up in and who even helped find them in the first place. [The natives of this place asked Otherworlders to help a lot, as did the Arehtei, like they were some saviors.] There are too many here who don't know you can't save everyone. Don't want to believe it.
First time something like this had to be decided on, hopefully they saw their mistake in it.
[There was a snort.] You really want to hear the shit here?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2019-08-31 11:15 pm (UTC)He flexed the fingers of the hand not holding the bottle-]
Gotten numb to it, just background noise. Makes it difficult to notice injuries unless they're really bad. [Like trying to move with a few broken ribs.] Real noticeable whenever I pull certain tricks of mine, too.
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Date: 2019-08-31 11:30 pm (UTC)He swirled his bottle absently, tipping his head to look in Gabe's direction.] Always knew it bothered you, but never realized it was quite that bad. [Not sure how something that painful could be nothing more than background noise.]
No wonder you went full dramatic edgelord.
no subject
Date: 2019-08-31 11:45 pm (UTC)There are those that genuinely think they're good.
[Others that had no where else to go, those that didn't care they were hurting people, just wanting the power, the thrill- everything that came with it.
His head tilted, glancing Jack over.] Not like I'd ever say shit otherwise.
[Another slow, small swig.]
Gotta cope somehow.
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Date: 2019-08-31 11:55 pm (UTC)He knew very well the type of people that Talon went after, some of whom Overwatch wouldn't have touched. Too dangerous, too reckless.]
I know. [And he did.] You always suffer in silence. Always have.
[He sighed heavily.]
Always will, I expect.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 06:20 pm (UTC)Sure, Blackwatch pulled in some of the people Talon would have, but once shit went to hell they ended up there in the end anyway.
He had tried.]
Why drag other people in to my shit? [Unless he was drowning to the point he couldn't see a way out, and by then he felt it was too late. Who'd come?
Jack, apparently.] I'm not the only one suffering.
No one should have to deal with my shit on top of their own.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 06:30 pm (UTC)He sipped from his bottle, setting his teeth to the rim as he cast his eyes towards Reyes. They were going to have one of those serious conversations that would go no where by morning, weren't they? The conversations that made little difference because they were so set in their ways by now.]
Because some people care about you, and they want to help you with said shit if they can.
[He waved a hand in the air dismissively.] And you always do that tactic too. The moment we talk about the depth of how much shit you're dealing with and suffering under the weight of, you drag other people in as if they suffering can match yours.
[He turned on the couch to look at Gabriel and glared.] Stop being dismissive. If I couldn't handle your shit on top of my own, I wouldn't ask. I can handle it. Maybe not back when it was really needed, but here and now... I can. You can talk to me, Gabriel.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-01 09:55 pm (UTC)For once? There'd be no argumentative tone from Gabriel on the subject, just something low and so close to melancholic than anything else. No mood to argue, and the way the alcohol was going through him couldn't get up the type of energy for it either.
Eyes kept on his own bottle.]
Always had to bury my own shit to deal with something else, no time for it. Something else to be done, something more important than wallowing in my suffering.
[Unlike here.
Gaze lifted from his bottle to Jack, and he just looked... tired. Haggard. Dark circles obvious under his eyes, gaunt even.]
I'm tired, Jack.
[... Well it was something?]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 10:57 pm (UTC)The lack of argument was basically a giant alarm bell for him, and he turned a bit on the couch so he was half-facing Gabriel. He was so used to things being brushed off and the stubbornness involved in that determined how bad it was. No argument? It was bad.
He knew the old rules of engagements. Both of them had been awful about sharing their shit at the end.
All the same, he met Gabe's gaze and frowned at the exhaustion he saw there. Not just physical, but... everything. Emotional and mental. It forced him to take a sip from his bottle to gather himself, and he made a purposeful effort to shift closer to Reyes on the couch.]
Talk to me, Gabe. [It was a request, not a demand. Leaving the door open, making himself available as he hadn't in years.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-02 11:16 pm (UTC)Who knows, could save them.
Funny, he could take what he was doing. Didn't matter how far down he dug himself, there was at least a goal, some sort of distance between what he was doing and everything else. Acceptance and drive to keep going. A need for it.
Here he was basically being slingshotted back and fourth so out of his comfort zone and what had become normal that he barely knew what to do anymore. It was pathetic, but he was just so damn tired. Some hollow laugh, brief as the noise was.]
It was easier when I just growled and grunted at people until they left me alone. [Spent a few months like that, honestly.] Killed things for money, never stopped moving, kept as far from people as possible unless it was needed for some job or trip.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-03 04:36 pm (UTC)He imagined that there was plenty that Reyes didn't tell anyone, kept to himself. He suspected it was only because it was Ana leaving that he had been called. They had suffered her loss together before, and they were doing it again now. It was as familiar as it was painful, even if the circumstances were all different and they weren't particularly the same men they had been the first time.
The laugh was a good tell where Gabriel was at in his mind.]
I know. We both know building connections is bad but necessary. They just cause pain and loss. [It was the military life. It was Overwatch life. It was life after Overwatch too. He supposed he was fortunate that he hadn't developed strong bonds to anyone.] It's an easier life, isn't it? Distant from everyone, but terribly isolating.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-03 07:39 pm (UTC)They were all supposedly on equal footing in terms of power, but it wasn't unusual for infighting to occur if a decision wasn't agreed upon, even after the motions to go through with it were already in motion. People happily going ahead with their own plan.
Hell, then and there no one would understand better than Jack; the weight of that certain loss and- well. Reyes himself. Taking another swig from the bottle before he even dared start talking again, the liquor enough to at least get him talking.]
I was already isolating myself. [Before Overwatch fell, gesturing with the bottle as the neon purple liquid inside sloshed a bit.] Here? Here people kept wanting in, didn't want me to be alone. Wanted me to have hope when I already knew it was a waste on me.
<small[There was nothing waiting for him.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-04 03:42 pm (UTC)His plan was to start hitting the companies themselves, since he had no access to Talon heads as it was. His more home-grown effort was about evening the odds for the common person, giving them opportunities where they were kept in oppression. More than that, he just plain wanted those that had betrayed and tore Overwatch to pay dearly and if he could throw them in the mud like they did so many 'lesser' people and omnics, then all the better.
But really, this conversation was less about what they were doing back home and Talon, and it was far more about Gabriel and the fact that the older man seemed to be barely be holding it together.
He made no indication to interrupt once Reyes decided to start talking, nursing a little more off of his drink. He was nodding his head to indicate he understood, and he eyed Gabe from the corner of his eye.]
And it seems to me they succeeded in making you have some hope. And a life for yourself.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-04 07:13 pm (UTC)There was already someone beginning to short-change Talon after all.
Barely holding it together perhaps something of an understatement. Hell, the only reason he wasn't physically falling apart was due to how stuffed he kept himself with emotionally charged foods and other methods to keep that fed. Otherwise? Otherwise he'd be little more than some monstrous blob of smoke with how he felt.
Another pull from the bottle—]
And look what I've gotten for it. Gotten soft, emotional. Better off keeping a distance than having any hope.
no subject
Date: 2019-09-04 11:29 pm (UTC)He also wasn't so certain how he felt about that war. On one hand, good riddance. On the other, he wasn't keen to know the answer to Reyes' fate at the end. That left him staring down his bottle uncomfortably.
That pollen experience had really messed things up. He hadn't expected them to be able to have moments like these, and he wasn't certain how to cope with the idea that they had confessed all their boyish stupidity of years past to each other. It made this possible, made how comfortable they could be again available.
Turned as he was towards Reyes, he picked out the subtle signs of those old struggles.]
True... you told me you loved me. That's pretty damn soft. [He took a drag from his own fruity drink.] And we're talking again. And you have a son again. I guess it's completely terrible. [Though the losses definitely were. Maybe a small amount of that old optimism was sneaking back in. He didn't realize he could still have it.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-05 02:46 am (UTC)[He didn't even know his own fate, part of him didn't care so long as the mission got done. An end to Overwatch's sad story. Had to take down a lot of players on the way down. If he was one of those, so be it.
Right now? He wasn't much thinking about that, head tilted back to rest against the back of the couch.]
Did I tell you I met him in the local yarn store? And after that he pulled me in to his home during a party he was throwing. I was just walking by, stopped because I heard all of the noise. [Sounded like he'd gotten adopted first in a way, didn't it.] He's the only one left.
[That wanted him to hope.]
no subject
Date: 2019-09-05 05:22 am (UTC)[Jack was of the same opinion. As long as those who brought Overwatch low and rotted it out from under them paid, he didn't care what happened to him. Even if that mission was all finished and he lived to see the other side of it, there would always be another war. That never changed.
He grunted softly to make it clear he was still listening, sipping lightly at his bottle.]
No, you never said how you met, just that he adopted you first. [And the circumstance were odd, but they weren't as odd as he might otherwise expect knowing this place. He glanced over at the final statement, humming.] What will you do on the chance he might leave too?
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Date: 2019-09-05 09:40 pm (UTC)Get you stuck in old memories of better times, or nightmares.
[That bottle was almost empty, and he was already grabbing a fourth -fifth? didn't matter- to just have well within reach once the one he had was emptied. There were many reasons he didn't sleep, so many- and maybe blacking out from over drinking was the only way he'd get any rest now.
didn't bother trying back home.]
I don't know.
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Date: 2019-09-06 01:25 am (UTC)[He was still nursing his way through his second, though he was getting to the end of it. He wasn't in any hurry as they had all night, and he was here as moral support so that Gabe could just vent and release his tension and grief.]
You always were one for contingency plans.
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Date: 2019-09-06 03:06 am (UTC)Felt like a tomb once he was out of it and back to his right mind at least. Created a world where things were better. Golden Years, like nothing had ever happened. Did he really miss those times so much he was so easily trapped in it? Or was all of that because of what this world had turned him in to. Away from his mission.
Away from the reality of what he was and what he needed to do.]
More of a choice back then. There's nothing to do here, no way to actively get out. Everyone is jut guessing while others are happy to be here, the chance it's given them t live a life not possible for one reason or another. [So many had wanted that for him here.] Think I've only ever felt this powerless twice before.
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Date: 2019-09-07 04:34 pm (UTC)[76 couldn't say that he had had hope in a long time, but he could faintly remember what it was like. It had been early in Overwatch when they could still make a different, when there was room to grow and be optimistic for improving the lives of others. He had had a lot of pride then, plenty of hope, an insatiable optimism. The world powers had done well though, grinding him for years, wearing him down as the war never had.
Slowly pulling them apart.
He grunted at Gabe's sordid assessment of the situation. He never liked being a sitting duck in anything.] Instead this place steals people when they are settled. Feels like a war with no fighting. [And that made it infinitely more hopeless.] Did you drink yourself unconscious for those times as well?
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Date: 2019-09-08 12:54 am (UTC)We had manage to pull things together, prevented the Swiss explosion because something managed to distract us from that stupid fight. [Was it telling of something that he'd been so easily trapped in that?] The countries that still held their belief in us actually helped kept the Petras Act from ever falling on our heads. Talon didn't hold nearly as much power as it does- Hell, managed to find Ana some years after, even if she didn't come back to her position.
I was trapped in a What If filled with Hope. [His tone was rasped, hissing a little as if caught somewhere between disgust over being so easily trapped and... well. e ignored the pain it all brought in to his tone easily enough. Drowning it in finishing off the bottle and flicking the lid off the other.]
There's a war, these idiots voted not to kill the leader who assassinated one of the damn giant emotionally unstable animals. [Even if the dragon had been reborn, that wasn't the point.] Now you know those left went underground and are just biding their damn time, because those no better than children believe good and friendship fixes every-fucking-thing. [Well then.
Eyed Jack over the bottle for a moment.] I hired O'Deorain for one. [Discovered he was more or less dying.]
For the other I pulled myself together after having a goddamn building collapse on me and set on my mission. [Y e a h.]
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Date: 2019-09-08 01:18 am (UTC)The what ifs, huh? Described like that, it sounded worse than he had considered, which meant that actually living it had been a version of Hell that would drive them both into hiding. He had no doubt Gabe had fled and required considered time to process it.]
Surprised you came out of that with your marbles still rolling in a forward direction. We both know hope has a place, but not like that... not like a game.
[It actually disgusted him that this place would create such illusions, the kind of escapism that threw reality far more harshly back into focus once it was finished. All the more reason to get out of this place before everyone was thrown back under the emotional bus.]
If there is no voted leadership with strategy, it's their own fault and they will pay for that decision. The only way to stop the inevitable slaughter now is the kill the underground movement before it gains traction, and that's political suicide. [He was in agreement of the stupidity of it though.
He eyed Gabriel in return at the mention of O'Deorain.] You could have just said 'no' and that would have sufficed.
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Date: 2019-09-08 02:01 am (UTC)Not hope for something that would never be possible, something so long gone it was nothing but a gilded lie.]
Places hold traps like that, meant to protect things. Got out of it, and what we're were all down there looking for was recovered. You're not wrong though, not wrong at all, we both know it well.
[Illusions that felt so real it could trap someone like that, no matter who they were.]
The vote was left up to Otherworlders. The leadership of this place and where the leader of the movement was from left it up to us, and the other Arehtei weren't happy about it. [He agreed it was political suicide all the same.
Shoulders shrugged.] Devil's in the details.
Besides, other moments you shared in. [During the Crisis... when there was so much death of their people in Overwatch. How many times did he go and help Jack lay flags over coffins? Vice versa, too.]
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Date: 2019-09-08 02:28 am (UTC)Though, he supposed the more time that he spent with Reyes, the more likely some of those old ghosts might show up on scene again.]
That pollen we were exposed to was enough to show me how this place was going to play with us. I'm not particularly looking for any repeat performances.
[It was Jack's turn to roll his eyes because that was absolutely stupid. Why leave the vote up to a group that had no invested interests in the overall outcome? They all would leave at some point.]
Whoever made the decision to leave it to the otherworlders should be taken to task. We aren't in a position to make the correct informed decision. That's why politicians exist. [He was shaking his head and finishing off his second bottle, putting it aside for a third.
He grunted softly as he removed the cap from his new bottle.] I more meant here, not back home. I know very well how much we helped each other.
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Date: 2019-09-08 03:22 am (UTC)[Well that was telling again, but Gabriel didn't linger on what those words meant, what he'd said in them. Wasn't the point of it all, wasn't the worst this place could do. The pollen was mild- hell, even if it had been other people it could have implanted fake emotions.
But with him they'd been very real, no matter how deep he'd buried them over the years out of necessity.]
It was left up to Otherworlders because Otherworlders were who fought and caught her in the first place. Who went and raided the place they had holed up in and who even helped find them in the first place. [The natives of this place asked Otherworlders to help a lot, as did the Arehtei, like they were some saviors.] There are too many here who don't know you can't save everyone. Don't want to believe it.
First time something like this had to be decided on, hopefully they saw their mistake in it.
[There was a snort.] You really want to hear the shit here?
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