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When I'm not off on more important jobs.

[As for the food? It looked like something with steak, sliced up and seared so very nicely. Even if cold it would still feel like it was warming the man up as he ate. There were vegetables in there as well. Some possibly roasted potatoes. Whatever it was it was delicious, give him that much.] I'm responsible, even if I plan on getting drunk enough to black out.

Better not done on an empty stomach. [Still, there was a nod to the question. He'd made it. His food was always comforting in the emotional side of things. Warmed someone up from the inside out in the most pleasant of ways.] Yeah, got in a lot of practice here.

[Hell, part of the reason he invited Jack over was to let him have the time. He didn't doubt it had been like a gut punch, but let him process it in his own time.]

And even then they're temporary for this place. Go right back like nothing ever happened.

[Yet here he was all the damn same. Taking another drink from the bottle with the neon purple mix-] I don't regret anything about what we did back then.

All the more reason I'm doing what I'm doing.

[It was homemade food and that put it leaps and bounds ahead of most of the stuff that he ate in the last six years. Even cold, he had no problem with it, and it was hardy and tasty, so he wouldn't deny enjoying it. Made him wonder when the last time he had cooked. Made him wonder if he even could anymore.] Fair enough. I'm not your boss. You do whatever you want.

[It had been awhile since he had regretted his life, but now didn't seem like it was worth a new try at it. If this alcohol was as good as Reyes indicated, he was going to need to be cautious. He was here because his presence was requested, not so he could just give into that gaping despair that they could so easily stand on the edge of.] At least you're taking up old hobbies, I guess.

[It wasn't like Reyes slept apparently. That was a lot of time to think of losses. No wonder Gabriel wanted to get black-out drunk and forget for a few hours. Blessed peace and quiet from the brain weasels.]

So does that mean you're supposed to enjoy it while you can, or just refuse to do anything because it doesn't matter anyway?

[He grunted and sipped from his bottle once he had finished chewing the food in his mouth. The fruitiness didn't exactly mix well with the savoury food, but he had no complaints about free stuff.]

No regrets, huh? That's a good thought, I guess. We did a lot back then. [A pause as he rubbed his thumb on the bottle absently.] Remember when we were arguing over that Prague strategy and Ana grabbed us both by the ears and dragged us around the whole room calling us stubborn idiots?

[Reyes had just gotten better at cooking, even if it still ad to be in large enough batches to feed a large family or else it was horrible. Just showed in what he was offering Jack, cold or not. It was almost funny.] Get back in to gear tomorrow, got to clean out the rest of that base and... I'll figure out what to do with it.

[Hell, he did appreciate the fact Jack had shown up at all, needed him there even if he couldn't really explain to himself why. To make sure he wasn't alone? That was one, on top of the fact he knew and cared about Ana, would under stand without having to talk about it. Talking about it was the last thing he wanted to do.] Gotta fill the time somehow.

[For once it was just too much to stay conscious with- or maybe he was finally allowing himself a break from his own thoughts. Long overdue.]

Either or, I guess. Mix of folks across the board a range of those two here after all.

[Alternating, slowly, between eating and drinking- even if he finally finished off one bottle and was picking up a neon green one to pop open next.]

She got tired of us arguing back and fourth when we were literally saying the same thing at one point, jut worded differently because of how stressed we both were.

[Jack had mastered the art of enjoying the leftover. He cooked for himself now more than ever, but much of his food stores were things he could keep in a pack and carry with him. He hadn't actually had access to a full kitchen in a very long time. Cooking conventionally just wasn't in the cards for his lifestyle. He wouldn't deny good leftovers.] With the base? Probably give it away or sell it. You seem like you have enough on your plate already with all you've taken on.

[Gabriel had called, and Jack had come. He couldn't explain why he had dropped everything and made its way here, but it felt like a blast from the past. Maybe they were back to finding that common ground with each other. They seemed to be trying to do that more than ever.

He shrugged as he finished his drink and set the empty bottle aside. He grabbed a neon blue one this time, about to find out if the flavours were different with colours.] And what side of the fence do you sit on in the debate?

[He was still eating but slowly, savouring the fact he had a meal and was apparently going to be spending the night here. Unlike all the other times he ate, he actually took his time rather than scarf it down and flee.]

We couldn't see the trees in the forest, as the saying goes. Always could get us to listen to reason.

There are still things there from when Oxton and the monkey were here. [Moved from the apartment they'd had yes but- That was a lot of time, wasn't it? Things from a little while before he'd arrived and now he was basically the last of those who'd been here so long. It felt- well. all the more reason to remind himself it wasn't just him, right?

Two years ago he wouldn't have given a single fuck and left it all there to rot away. Now it just didn't sit right with him.

There were indeed different flavors, but they all ranged within sweet. Made it dangerously easy to drink a lot fast if one didn't know just how alcoholic it was.] It doesn't matter in the end, so why not enjoy yourself while it lasts if that's what you want? Some people here are dead in their world. Got nothing to return to.

[A smaller swig of his second bottle then. Leaning heavier on his drinking than eating, but still.]

We could after a while on our own, given time, we just didn't have that time.

Oh right, where they tried to re-establish something of Overwatch. [Damn enthusiastic kids striving for the life that had been given to them when Overwatch was in its glory days. What young person wouldn't want to return to the best times of their lives? He definitely took a swig of alcohol just thinking about it.

He was definitely in the 'let it rot' stage of his life, but he would help Gabe because it was Ana. She wouldn't want him to leave Reyes alone for such a task. Maybe they were just better off suffering together.

He nodded, figuring that would be Reyes' answer after so long in this place. What choice did the man have after all? It was such a long time.] Knew you'd say that. Been here long enough to have invested something of yourself into the memories that you've made. God knows they are probably more pleasant than back home.

[He nodded, still alternating between eating and drinking. Someone was going to have to drag a passed out Reyes to the basement after all, and he had already volunteered by just being here.]

Yeah, I remember. Glad we figured it out and it all came out in the wash anyway.

It all used to be in an apartment, but Amari figured it'd be better to keep it in the base, since... probably want them to move in there if they ever showed back up. [Oxton had for a short period of time, but hell if he didn't avoid her. Too much energy for him to deal with when for the most part he... didn't much care for anyone.

Took several stabs at his pasta dish, but at least he was remembering there was food in his lap rather than just downing that second bottle. Working at it a little slower, some pleasant warm buzz already developing even with the food.

Step one getting there.] Not all of the memories back home are bad. Got some good ones.

[Even if the ones of the last several years wouldn't count amongst those.]

Always worked better together than against each other anyway.

And it doesn't sound like they ever did. A shame, I guess. I suspect I'd get tired just watching the pair of them flit around. [It seemed to him that he and Reyes were the only ones left, not exactly a good showing for this place. Neither of them probably even wanted to be here, probably wanted to be here less than anyone else of their world.

His stomach was warm and the warmth was spreading slow and easy to his limbs. He was a lot better at eating because he hadn't actually consumed a lot of food since he had arrived, just what he could catch and harvest. This was hardier and more filling than his previous meals, so he was going to at least enjoy it.

And yeah, the alcohol was nice enough.] Probably just the last decade was bad. Unless you have some real zingers with Talon agents.

[That was the strange truth of it. They had always worked better together than against each other. That's where most of their success had come from.]

Yeah, we did. Good team we had been.

Oxton popped back up for a couple of weeks, but she never remembered being here with Winston. Avoided her myself, don't think she ever noticed I was here. [He was good at it when he wanted to be, going unnoticed-] Wilhelm was here for a little while, too. Seen a lot of familiar faces but.... [He was the only constant now, technically, wasn't he?

Was more playing with his pasta than eating it for a moment, getting a good amount of it and sliced pieces of chicken on to that fork. A few veggies stuck to it by cold cheesy sauce.]

Other than going to Venice around Carnivale and dressing up? Not really. [He still enjoyed dressing up in costumes, some things didn't ever change.

Did finally eat that forkful of food, washing it down with a bit of that neon liquor.]

I miss it.

So like how I seemed to show up. [No memories of being here before. He hadn't thought that Oxton and Reaper would get on well, too many years of experience spanning between them to make a real connection. Her positivity could be a bit much for many.] But they are all gone now. All but three of us.

[He was sitting back into the couch, nursing his brightly coloured drink and letting the warmth of it spread through his body without complaint. He shouldn't do this, he knew, but he was going to. This kind of vulnerability was dangerous.

However, between himself and Reyes even black out drunk, one of them would kill anything that came to harm them. It was just a fact of life for them. A constant neither of them could truly escape.]

Dressing up is right up your alley. I don't think that will ever change.

[He glanced over at Reyes next to him on the couch and took a long drag from his bottle, mulling over the sentiment before nodding.]

Me too. Miss a lot of things, but mostly that.

Yeah, and McCree's been here three times now, each with no memory. [It was a common enough occurrence really. Didn't make it better, just... expected if someone left and then reappeared enough, bit chance it was for the first time for them all over again. Just how it was. Humming a little to that last statement. Just three of them now.

Gabriel felt safe enough, and knew that the dogs were a good early warning system that would snap anyone out of some drunken stupor if anyone did dare try to get in. Two of them trained well enough that it wasn't just Morrison or Reyes whoever would have to worry about.

They were... fine.]

Nice to be able to keep that much at least.

[That much of himself anyway. No matter how much else he let go of or tried to bury. Eating a little more than drinking for the moment again.]

Always knew I was safe with you at my back.

This place is such a menace. Giving and taking away like it has the right to disrupt everyone's life all for some rescue project. [He was just being bitter, enhanced by he alcohol that he was drinking since it was overcoming his metabolism. He mostly just wanted to be back on his mission... though, he'd miss this wouldn't he?

He cast a look at Reyes next to him on the couch, food containers in their laps and alcohol in hand, like they were a pair of university dorm roommates just getting on for the weekend. Yes, the weight of Ana's leaving was like an open wound for them both, but this sort of easiness wasn't possible back home. This relying on each other wasn't in the cards. They lived in two completely different worlds.]

What have you lost? After the Fall, I mean.

[Aside from 'everything', which was his typical response. If dressing up was a point of pride, what other points of pride had been sacrificed in the fall of Overwatch. How many of those things he and Reyes had once talked about, maybe even joked over were gone now.]

Except that one time. [He took a swig from his drink.] You were taking a piss into that river near my house, and I shoved you in. I think I made it two miles before you caught me and threw us both in.

A second chance or Hell, rate from your own experience. [A little dryly spoken, but it was how he viewed the place; could even be both at the same time. Needed to go back, return to his own mission, but hell.

So much more was possible here, even if loss had a whole new level to it.]

Other than my best friend? [Why yes, he counted Jack amongst those losses.] No big trip back home. No home at all for that matter, nothing to return to. Feeling of safety. List could go on.

[He'd made his choices, going to take another drink and eyeing Jack over that bottle at that little memory-]

Got you back. Remember the blizzard?

Hate it, ten-out-of-ten wouldn't recommend to anyone. [He replied just as dryly, though it wasn't entirely the truth. He wouldn't as easily give up on moments like these, sparse though they were. Jack simply saw it wasn't worth attachment. Just look at them now? Drinking towards black-out because of losing someone very special to them both.

He paused in taking another sip of his drink at the question, looking over and then away. He dropped the bottle back to his lap and sighed heavily, staring towards the ceiling.] Sounds like a bunch of losses. Amazing you've even gathered any sanity left.

[He snorted softly at the mention of the blizzard. How could he forget?]

Never thought my ass could ever be that cold.

[There was some scoff of a laugh in reply to that one, taking another drink before letting the bottle set on the coffee table. All the better to eat slowly, pacing himself more with the food than the rate he was drinking. Be better that way.

Easier to sort of linger in that warmth that pooled through him from the drink, settle in the softness brought with that. Temper didn't flare when he drank, he just got either sentimental and sappy or.. mellow. Easier to laugh and joke.] Making a joke of myself helps.

Either embrace the fact I'm an undead monster with nothing other than revenge and the mission, or go insane and scream.

[Hell of a time—]

Lucky I was nice enough and didn't shove you over where the lake was frozen over, just partially buried you in five feet of snow with a well timed shove.

[It had been so long and he had changed so much since the last time he had ventured into that territory that he had no idea what to expect. Apparently he was going to head in the sarcasm direction and hopefully it would hold for the night.

He was still nursing his drink rather than going all in, but he was pleased enough to earn a laugh out of Reyes. That wasn't easy when both of them were in some state of suffering, and he thought that Gabriel would handle this a bit harder than he would given he hadn't established the same kind of deep connections yet.]

It seems to me that back home, you have your cake and ate it too. Here... seems like you're just a grandpa with a farm and that thirty-year-old kid that won't move out of your attic.

[Sounds exactly like it was.]

Yeah, that was your showing of niceties. That whole scenario and the walk back made me wonder if I could suffer from hypothermia.

Edited (wtf) 2019-08-30 22:38 (UTC)

[Just what he did, try to find some way to cover the pain and bury it, be it through just ignoring it or finding some morbid sort of humor in it all. How he coped, even if it wasn't the healthiest thing to do, it got him by. Most of the time.

This was a time he didn't want to be alone, rather than holing himself up. Had only done this once before.]

What doesn't kill you, and the grave can't hold me. [Slow swig of that neon liquor-] And another kid that likes dropping by in the middle of the night to raid the kitchen of sweets.

[Didn't mind that one, really.]

Helped pull you out- and made sure you got warmed back up safely, but it was still funny seeing you disappear in all of that snow.

[He stuck his drink between his knees so he could pick at food, not really eating it so much as tasting it and swallowing what he bothered to put in his mouth. It would be a slow night of figuring things out, probably even hashing out a few things when they both managed to accomplish being drunk.

He hoped neither of them said anything stupid to cause a fight. He would like to maintain this odd sort of peace between them for awhile yet.]

Are those your two favourite catch-phrases? Those are dramatic as all get out, by the way. [Yes, yes, don't remind him that you collect young people like pets either.] Your personal adoption rate is insane.

[He snorted and pushed around the food in the container. He remembered that day well, how much fun they had had, how many laughs they had shared between his bitching about being cold and what kind of commander was Reyes pushing his superior officer in the snow?]

I literally disappeared. I've never been that buried deep. That must be what people in avalanches experience.

[Gabriel was allowing himself to linger in that warmth of alcohol going through him, the mellow mood to where he at least felt okay. Giving himself that much before driving to dive in to blackout drunk. Be getting there soon enough, really.

Then he was setting the chicken and cheese pasta to the side, for Jack to get a hold of if he wanted. Attention going full to the bottle.]

Dramatic or die. [Needed to be dramatic.] Mostly animals these days, somehow.

[There were so many good memories from back then, before the pressure and stress had gotten to them both. So easy to be pulled apart, drowning. The both of them had been drowning in the end.]

Hell of a snowball fight, too.

[The longer that he sat here, the more the impact of Ana's leaving seemed to settle into him, slow and sinister. After all, he had only just arrived and now there was no opportunity to talk to her about all the things he had built up over the years, to things that took time to consider bringing up. She was gone again... the trio broken again.

He made no motion for Gabriel's choice in meal, just pushing around his at this point and neither eating nor drinking. He was thinking and that took a lot of attention and energy.]

Always been your motto. [No point denying it anyway.] Yeah, I've seen your herd. Four years is a long time to collect things.

[They had survived the war, survived the SEP, survived the formation of Overwatch, and survived running it. They had a lot of history, much of which was likely impossible to unpack in a single drunken night. The fond memories might be the only reason he wasn't mulling as hard over Ana. He'd lost but maybe he'd gained a little something too.]

You deserved every ball I pegged you with.

Did me good over the years, can't deny that. [Just... further embraced it now.] They're all good dogs... good animals.

[At least there was knowledge where she was going back- and sticking with Jack. Knew there'd probably be some fight there if she was intent of protecting Cairo and further from Hakim, like she'd been doing.

Only Jack would know the details whenever he went back. Forgetting that any of this happened again. Maybe would stay whenever he vanished ag—

Reyes down the bottle in one go, reaching for a third, flicking the cap off with a finger before taking a fresh swig.]

As you deserved every one I got you with.

I didn't think you would. You literally live in the ass end of no where with a herd of pets. You clearly needed them or you wouldn't have stayed here. [That was just plain obvious to him. Maybe he knew Reyes better than most, no matter the years of not associating.

He had been told that, but he hadn't experienced it. He had gone looking for Shrike, ended up fighting Reaper and being saved by the very person he had been looking for. Then he came here, so he could admit to being as achingly lonely and frustrated with life in general.

He glanced over when Reyes seemed to be deciding to go hard on the drink now. He made no motion to stop him. He finally was convinced to take a sip of his own bottle, but not consuming nearly as much.]

I guess those were the good old days.

Without them I'd still never be staying in one place, going from once place to another. [He used to just keep to the slums- and it all started with one tiny cat, staying a little longer somewhere before moving. Took stumbling upon a dog to bother getting and apartment somewhere.

Was history from there at this point. They only company he kept, had just been him and the animals for two years, nearly three. Wouldn't have bought the place if he hadn't ended up with two dogs and a cat.

Time to push towards blackout drunk for him, apparently.]

Yeah.

The nomadic life isn't terrible. [He was still doing it, and he had been for years now. It was something that he had gotten used to and age old paranoia would keep him on the move for a long while yet.] But you've put in your time. You get to have a place of your own.

[He sipped his drink and let Gabriel get on with the heavy drinking. He put the lid on the food he had been eating and set it on the coffee table then sat back again. He rolled the bottle he was drinking from between his hands to keep them occupied.]

I'll keep watch if you want to start going whole hog.

It isn't, no. [Wasn't as if he didn't do the same back home when given the chance. Always on the move, didn't stay with Talon when he didn't have to for one reason or another. Had places he moved about, stayed.] For now.

[Gone back to the neon purple stuff, sinking back in to the couch at more of a slouch, letting his feet rest on the coffee table there. Damned tempting to just down it, rather than let himself spiral while he was still in a more... alright sort of mood.

Could easily shift, even if he was more of a happy drunk. Didn't change the fact he wasn't... happy.]

You can sleep on the couch here tonight for doing this. Just roll me in to the basement.

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