dadication | Open Post

Jack didn't think he was built for an under-the-radar life, the secret shadow creeping one. He honestly didn't think that he would be good at it, least of all after spending so much time in the limelight for the last twenty-five years. He understood he might not have a choice, that results would be more effective if he wasn't in front of a camera, but it was a big change of pace to consider and he was already dealing with everything else. "Always are."

They could, but it wasn't wise. His anger was the only thing he had left that was strong right now, but ruining his hand meant he literally couldn't go out on his own. Not until he had use of it again. It made life hard all around, but he would cope.

"Wasn't that before we had our latest temper tantrum and stormed away from each other to mope in separate rooms?" At least he could be honest about it. After all, eating hadn't been priority when Reyes shut him out of their link like a punishment. He shook his head slightly at the offered arm and leaned down to slip one arm around Gabe's back and the other under the man's knees to simply lift him. It didn't look like Reyes had to energy to get up even with a pull. He struggled and strained to hoist the other, but he got him up enough to sit on the edge of the bed. Might have popped another stitch along the way, but Gabriel was up and in a far more comfortable place.

"There. Lay down and rest."

"Always will be," even if they had to take it easy for a while, but that wasn't stopping Gabriel's mind from planning ahead. What they could do, but most importantly what they needed to do. How they were going to get out of this city and where they could go after the bunker. Anything to keep them both going and safe until they could plan something more.

There was a slight narrowing of eyes, but the affect was sort of lost with how glassy those normally dark yet warm brown eyes looked. Mixture of exhaustion and pain just making everything a mess. "You mean trying to punish me after your tantrum like I was the one in the wrong, me retaliating because that was damn well crossing a line in your anger, and then you went off to mope and re-break your hand." Could say it was a temper tantrum before that yes, emotions running high and fear a spike through the pit of his stomach of how it could all go wrong if Jack had gone out that door. Didn't fight the help up.

Gabriel figured if he struggled it would just be worse on Jack, catching him by the wrist of the not ruined hand. "You need to let me take care of you, or else this isn't going to work." Any of it.

Even he grudgingly admitted in his sour depressed mood that they were a good team, and they would survive. One couldn't die without the other. Even still, he knew that time for planning their great assault on their enemies was not now, what with them being basically unable to retain their feet for longer than thirty minutes at a time. The futile emotional turmoil didn't make their injuries heal any faster.

"Look, I already apologized, but you cutting me out was cruel," he snapped, temper still bubbling. They'd bicker. They always bickered when angry, always looking to shove blame around until they settled down with the reality that both of them were better off agreeing to settle in close and comfort one another rather than be angry about it all. Took time, more time than it should. "You were moping just as much. Don't claim you weren't." Not that he could have been able to tell what with the link cut to bare minimum.

He paused from hobbling away at the grip on his wrist, looking at Reyes. He was trying to hide the fact that he was trembling, but of course he couldn't. "You already took care of me," he said stiffly, gesturing vaguely at his face. "And you warmed me up. This was my turn. We share duties like that, remember?"

"It was cruel, and I did it for a reason that you know because you apologized for it." Both for turning that anger on him as he was starting to do again, and to make a point he wasn't about to voice just yet. "Which you're getting dangerously close to again, because you're just as goddamn stubborn, if not more, than I am. More so when it's cutting this damn personal for the both of us," A warning and an acknowledgement all in one. "I'm not going to claim shit, because I don't have the energy to argue over this petty shit with you—"

Wasn't about to be letting go of Jack's wrist either, despite how damn horrible he looked and sounded, that was a strong grip.

"—More so when you're standing there actively bleeding, you fuck. It's not just taking turns, but doing for each other when it's needed."

Jack narrowed his eyes, aware he was being unreasonably angry and aware that he was throwing it all on Reyes whom had seemingly took it in stride when he needed to rant and tirade around. Now they only had each other, but their tempers were frayed, mentally hurt and worn. He curled a lip in a snarl of a reply, but he held his tongue. He also kept his end of the link from allowing his emotions to reach Gabriel and add fuel to their fire. "Fine, we'll leave it be."

He moved to twist his wrist free of Reyes' hold, wanting to have space, to lay down again and nurse his wounds until it was time to leave.

"This coming from the guy coughing up blood," he retorted and pulled at the hold on him. "Couple of blown sutures is fine. It will heal." Never mind his broken hand.

"If this is how you're going to act," spoken very slowly, as evenly as he could manage without leaving room for argument, "each and every time I voice concern and want over you? When we're both injured, nearly died, or anything like that... The moment we're both healed, it may be best if we part ways."

Then he let go of Jack's wrist, shifting to turn his back on the man so very much like Jack had done to him, and simply laid on his side.

Jack stiffened at the suggestion that they part ways once things had settled, and he experienced a creeping cold walking up his spine and spreading through his limbs. If it were possible, he paled to an ashen white. With his wrist free, it slipped back to his side, and he stood wounded and dumbfounded, shock evident in his expression. He opened his mouth to retort but he couldn't make the words come out.

He slowly reached down and pulled the edge of the blanket and set it over Reyes so he wouldn't get cold, touching lingering for a second too long and then he backed off to sit on the edge of the bed.

The only thing he had been able to keep back from the connection was every bit of hurt that Jack's own words and the way he was acting dug deeper than anything else. This wasn't like those arguments, and he was in no state of mind or emotion to be some easy target for the anger. The sheer unwillingness to work with him that Jack was now expressing in everything. Fighting him at every step.

They couldn't work together like that, and if it was going to continue he couldn't do it. It would break him. All he could do was make it as clear as he could if this kept up... he would leave once he was able. Blunt and probably cruel, but it needed to be said.

Even Gabriel had sucked it up and let Jack do what was needed for him, relented because even his own stubbornness and anger wouldn't help them. Then he'd continued on, acting as if he didn't need Gabriel, refused to let him help— He couldn't keep this up, he couldn't. When they needed to come together all Morrison was doing was pushing him away and it burned more than the fire, hurt more than every injury currently healing.

So he remained still and silent, eyes closed tightly. Keeping all of that pain locked up tight.

Neither of them were in a good state of mind, and it was showing through. He sat quiet and numb, the prospect of potentially losing Gabriel on top of everything else hitting as hard as his own stubbornness. Without his soul bond, he didn't know what he'd do. Even thought of it paralyzed him.

Fact of the matter was that Jack needed Gabe, needed him more than anything. So he remained seated at the head of the bed and listened to the sound of their breathing, more tuned into Reyes because of that lung. And he ached because they had both shut down the emotional side of their bond to each other.

He rolled his shoulder so the towel on his head slipped off to the bed, and he closed his eyes and leaned his head on the wall.

Gabriel was going to keep his side of it locked down, it felt like every time he tried to reach out he was only met with anger. What was the point? He was too tired and hurt to keep being met with it whenever he tried to get Jack to sit down. Eat. Let him help him. Resistance at every turn and it wore him even more thin.

Neither of them were in a good place, and simply made it worse.

His breathing was starting to break up the longer the silence went on, shoulders hunched an curling more in to himself as if trying to silence the cause.

He tried to remember the last time they had had a moment like this of silence, where it would go on for hours or days at a time. Happened, but it wasn't that often. They were pretty open with each other he found, but this was extenuating circumstances and they were both in such a bad way.

He wanted to let Gabe help, but more his concern for his bonded overrode good sense. He wanted to heal Gabe more than he wanted to take the time to heal himself.

All the same, he thought he might manage to doze leaning on the wall, but then his fingers would twitch or some other source of pain would flare, and he'd come back awake. He kept his eyes closed and returned to the rhythmic breathing... except it wasn't very rhythmic anymore. Something was wrong.

His chest hurt, and he couldn't tell if it was because of his lung or his heart, an ache that had settled there deep. A hand pressed firmly over his mouth, curled up as small as he could get himself, even if it was as slowly as possible, trying damned hard to keep it to himself. Mostly because he could feel the tears welling up, starting to fall.

Some silent break down, or one he was trying to keep silent even that lock down of emotions.

It took him longer than usual due to the firm hold one another had on the bond to realize that something was happening with Reyes. He looked over after a moment, and something leaked through thanks to years of knowing one another's body language. Gabriel wasn't right, and at first, he hesitated going over, closing the gap.

Eventually, his need to keep his bond safe and worry after him drew him from where he was on the wall, and he hesitantly reached out to set a hand on Gabe's shoulder. Testing for reaction.

Didn't even register the hand on his shoulder at first, the subtle trembling better felt than seen, some tenseness that ran through him entirely. Hard as he was fighting to keep the trouble to himself, tasting blood and as far as he knew it could be from the hand over his mouth than anywhere from his throat or lungs.

Once the weight on his shoulder was noticed? Gabriel's own hand moved over it, nails digging a bit but only due to how tightly the hold seemed to be. As if afraid it would leave if his hold loosened.

He waited for a moment, uncertain if he should move closer or stay at his distance. Then Gabe's hand rose and grasped his, feeling the nails digging into his flesh. He made a soft broken sound and immediately shifted his body closer. The tremble, the tightness, the locked down bond...

He nestled in against Gabe's back, having to put his broken hand above his head so he had room to set his chest to the older man's back, hand squeezing what little comfort he could offer.

Needed Jack as much as he was needed in turn, but he refused to let up on that lock down out of the irrational thought and feeling of it all being unwanted. Even knowing that, worn thin and frayed as they both were, wouldn't lift it. Didn't let go of that hand either. Even if he didn't, couldn't relax with the sudden weight and warmth against his back.

Just continued as Gabriel still forced himself in to that silence.

He remained there, settling in against Gabe's back, shifting to find a comfortable spot with his ripped sutured wound laying on the bedding. It was bleeding again, but it was contained now against the bedding they would burn. He kept his own link closed, aware of the suffering that would pass between them if they released the pressure valve of their emotions. It would be a mess.

It already was a mess. He and Gabriel cried so in often and yet, here they were again. He waited, offering the little comfort his presence could offer like this. He pressed his forehead carefully to the back of Gabe's neck, breathing the other man in.

Hiding from each other through the ink emotionally always made things worse, made it feel disconnected and lonely even if the rest of their bond was there. Alone in their own misery without any sort of relief or emotional presence to even begin soothing it. Cut off.

Gabriel still smelled of blood, ash, and sweat all mixed together, some undertone of the sterile nature of what bandaging there was on him. Only the areas that needed stitching and wrapping held that scent. A tug to Jack's hand, as if some silent plea for more than just keeping it there on his shoulder, hand trembling more from the movement.

It made things worse, and yet they still did it to each other when angry and suffered the consequences. He ached from the separation, paired with the sheer idea that when they healed enough, Gabriel might separate from him.

Slowly, his hand shifted, sliding down Gabriel's chest carefully before tucking under the opposite arm, holding the other back in return. Little-by-little, he tentatively opened his side of the link to feel for Reyes, to get a better sense of what was wrong, not that he would get much if Gabriel was still locked down. His nose carefully nuzzled the back of Gabe's neck.

Stubbornness and pride, something neither of them could really break from the habit of when tempers flared and got the best of common sense- and then not wanting the other to hurt more from feeling it from the other side as well. A vicious circle that would have been worked out by now if they'd been able to use normal means.

Like this? They couldn't.

Fingers gripped Jack's arm and held it there once it settled across his chest, as if to help hold him close that way. At least when he felt the tentative reach from the bond he opened up his ended a little; the smallest bit of pain, and so much more still held back. No flooding, whatever he could do to prevent that.

They seemed to be pushed so far for once that they shut down on each other. While the bond was mostly closed, he felt a small sense of relief that they were physically together, the grip of Gabe's fingers on his arm reassuring. It meant he could stay, should stay so he did. Eventually, they would break the cycle, but it was likely to come with many missteps until then. After all, they were both hurt, exhausted and worn down.

A little was better than nothing, and it was a relief to have some sense of Gabe other than 'alive'. Pain was something that was a constant in their link right now. It simply mingled with his own, which partially snuck through their bit of open link.

He closed his eyes, resting there at the end of the bed with Gabriel. Existing. That's about all they could manage at this point.

The both of them had burned out to the point they couldn't think of anything more to do other than shutdown. Frayed and at their wits end with so many things still seeming to bury them deeper, even if they were out of the wreckage of their life's work together. Neither of them had been pushed this far, or had been so emotionally hurt to have letting a fight cut so deep.

Pain and exhaustion swirled together from Gabriel's end, so very slowly as even then it become too much to keep it on full lockdown. Still no flood, but with the physical pain came that deep emotional hurt as well. Even a touch was enough to explain why he was so worn down that he was forcing himself in to silent sobs rather than just letting go completely. Worry and anxiety.

Clung to Jack's arm like it was a lifeline, the other still forced over his mouth to silence noises. Breath hitching, even shallow. Didn't want to let go of Jack.

Jack wasn't certain how long it would take them to recover, if they ever would completely. Right now, it was all about survival, running on what little adrenaline that they had left and even then, they would take any and all perceived slights to the extreme. Desperate to take care of each other, desperate to stay together but still riling the other up at the same time. They had lost everything but each other, but they had both completely unraveled as well.

The more he was slowly exposed to Gabriel's pain and exhaustion, the more he allowed his own to peek through, forcing himself to give instead of hiding it. He would feel terrible if he overwhelmed Reyes, but the whole current battle was because he was hiding, unwilling to allow treatment or care unless unable to stop it from happening. He forced himself back into that give and take modality.

He remained at Gabriel's back, arm tucked tight and supportive. His other hand was useless at this point so he could only nuzzle and be there as the older man cried near silent. A broken man. They both were. He began to hum a low tune, trying a different mode of comfort than usual. It worked for his ma, so why not for him, right? Humming was soothing.

Would take time and effort on both their parts, but some things would never heal, while others had every chance to do so. They'd get through it, together, even if there were bumps and rough patches, would pull through it.

There wasn't much lower that Gabriel could go at least, the second time he had broken down when the last it had ever pushed him to this point had been years and years ago. At least with this they wouldn't feel so alone, even if physically it was clear, and there was something better about no longer holding it all back. The lock down lifted completely, all of it there to be felt between the both of them.

At the very least, after a while, Gabriel did start to relax; slowly but surely. Sunk back against Jack, that grip on his arm never leaving.

They had never failed to heal on some level, and they do so again. Physically, they would come out of this with scars, but they would come back to their usual physicality as well. Mentally and emotionally were different scars, and he knew that they would leave their invisible marks on them no matter how much he and Gabe might try to pass it off. It would take time, and there would be plenty of missteps like what they were doing to each other in this room.

He held his bond close, offering a physical comfort while Gabe cried himself out for a second time. He didn't join in, but he knew that it was likely he'd have his own breakdown in future. For now it was Gabriel's turn and he was there to help the older man through it, his arm remaining tight and steely in support.

When the lock down on their link was lifted completely, he felt a nauseating wave of grief, pain, and isolation. It was so similar to his own that he hesitated in opening himself completely but in the end, he decided it would be best for them both if the emotions flowed freely between them again. His own emotions came with an undertone of anger and fear.

He lay there with Gabriel, refusing to move away for as long as his bond needed him.

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